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How To Get Things Done
May 22, 2009 by Katerina
There is an old saying “If you want something done, ask a busy person. ” There is a lot of truth in this. Sometimes, we struggle to do anything productive – even if we have time on our hands. But, at other times we can do alot because we prepare, are focused and do it with enthusiasm.
There are several small things that can make a big difference to how successful we become. These are some tips to help get things done.
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Be Clear What you Want to do.
It might seem a rather obvious point, but if we are not clear what we want to do – how can we do it effectively? I have a student who always talks of giving up smoking. Half of him wants to stop, but the other half enjoys it. If you want to do something difficult like give up smoking you have to be 100% committed. If you do something but are holding onto reservations, you will not be fully committed and so it will be much harder, if not impossible. Too often we drift along with vague ideas we should be doing something; we hold a certain guilt for not doing it, but, we fail to clearly resolve to take action – so it gets left on the back burner.
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Clear Out the Junk.
One of the biggest obstacles to being productive is getting distracted by small silly things. Having a tidy / clear workspace makes a big difference to being able to work with great focus. Entering a clear, simple work environment gives a definite subconscious psychological boost. Just try tidying your workspace, ruthless clearing out the junk and pieces of paper – you will definitely notice the difference. We have a rather romantic view of the eccentric genius working in paper strewn mess coming up with complex equations. But, for most of us, working in this kind of environment makes it much more difficult to do anything. Investing 10 minutes to create a clear workspace is a good investment of time.
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Do One Thing at A Time
It is not possible to do more than one thing at a time and be focused. Our attention gets split and we struggle to do either effectively. This doesn’t just mean physically doing only one thing at a time; it also means having our thoughts focused on one particular task. When writing an essay, we need to ignore other thoughts of what we will be doing tomorrow. There is no benefit in worrying over things that we have no control.
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Be in the Right Environment
As we have mentioned in previous points, the real secret for getting things done is being 100% committed and focused. Another thing that can help is getting into the right environment. For example, if you need to work at home, create a suitable space for your work. If you carry your laptop into the lounge in front of the TV, you can get easily distracted. Even changing clothes can make a difference. Sometimes, I wander out into the garden in my slippers and start half-heartedly gardening. When you do something be in the right space, environment and with the right tools / equipment.
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Prioritise
The art of getting things done doesn’t mean we have to be a permanent hive of activity, business and stress. The problem is that we are often ‘busy’ doing unimportant and inconsequential things. We need to make a list (either written or mental) of what needs doing and doing the most pressing things first, even if it is not necessarily the most pleasant.
Feel that whatever you do there is an opportunity cost. If we spend time flicking through tv channels it means we don’t have time for something more fulfilling and worthwhile.
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Finish what you start.
The hardest thing with getting things done is often just getting started. It takes a mental effort to get started, so once we overcome this barrier try finishing it in one go. If we keep stopping and starting we will waste precious time and loose focus. Where possible try to benefit from economies of scale. e.g. rather than checking emails several times throughout the day, set aside one or two times to answer and deal with your inbox. This is more efficient than responding piecemeal to incoming messages. (and often when you are trying to do something else as well.)
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Read the Instruction manual
It’s a bit of novelty in our ipod generation, but so many times I try to do something without any preparation, make it worse and then have to go back to read the instruction manual. Good preparation can save a lot of heartache and wasted effort. Jumping straight in without any clear plan isn’t usually the best way to get something done.
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Be Enthusiastic for what you do.
If we can always maintain enthusiasm for what we do, our enthusiasm will carry us through all obstacles and problems. This is a real secret of getting things done.
www.srichinmoybio.co.uk
Do you like this post? Subscribe to RSSThree Tips On How To Utilize A Natural Sleep Remedy To Work Better
May 18, 2009 by Katerina
There are reasonable health remedies for almost any condition. If you are bothered by nights of sleeplessness, you really don’t have to resort to drugs right away. Fortunately for you, you can try a health sleep remedy that is a great substitute to sleeping pills that are habit forming and produce nasty effects the next day. Since it is unsophistical, you know that it will not be harmful to your body.
But once you get a hold of a natural sleep remedy, don’t expect it to work like bewitching. Like many other natural health remedies you have to know that it does not work on its own. As with anything else in life, there has to be a certain balance for you to have a pleasing, insistence-free one. So a natural sleep remedy, for it to work best, also needs some work on your part. Read on to learn about the unconventional ways that can help you achieve a restful sleep naturally.
Tip # 1: Relax
The key in fascinating natural sleep remedy is that it helps the body to relax. This is the starting point of sleep. Many do not recognize this points. There are those who think that just by taking in the natural remedies, they will feel drowsy and sleep in no time. This is not the case.
What a routine sleep remedy does is relax your body, take away the stresses of the day, and make you feel comfortable; it puts you in the minded to sleep. However, many do not recognize this. Once they feel at ease and relaxed, they start doing a lot of other stuff and activities. This should not be the case. As an alternative, get a magazine or book and start reading or simply sit idly before the television set and watch a good show. Relax and let the genuine sleep remedy do its work.
Tip # 2: Drinking a cup of chamomile tea is a natural sleep remedy.
After a short while, you will be off to slumber land. There are those who have the misconception that by drinking more of the tea, they will go to nap faster. This is not true at all. Taking in more than just a cup of chamomile tea might even have harmful effects. It can cause an upset stomach. Rather than of enjoying bedtime, you will dread it. Enjoy that cup of tea; take in long, slow sips. Let the natural sleep remedy take its typical course. It will relax and calm you down.
Tip # 3: Develop a schedule
Part of a natural sleep panacea is training your body to follow a definite schedule especially during the night. Finish all the chores that need to be done. Learn to modulate. Give yourself a long, warm bath. Immerse yourself in that interesting book or magazine. Cozy up and watch TV. Or better yet, nuzzle and get comfy with your loved one. Your body will anticipate these wonderful feelings if you make it a routine. When the body is fully calm, sleep will eventually follow. Have a restful night with your choice of natural remedies for insomnia.
Do you like this post? Subscribe to RSSWhy We Deflect Compliments, and How to Take Them In
April 26, 2009 by Katerina
by Cheryl Rainfield
Many of us hesitate to accept compliments or positive messages about ourselves. Some of us even outright deflect or reject them. Yet taking in a real compliment or acknowledging our successes can feel so good. It can help us feel better about ourselves, improve our self-image and self-confidence, and help us feel happiness or joy. So why do we not allow ourselves that healthy, healing experience?
There are many reasons why we may deflect positive messages and not allow ourselves to bask in our successes. Often in our society, we are encouraged to be humble, and admitting or agreeing to positive things about ourselves can be judged as us bragging or being too full of ourselves. This is especially true for women and children, who are expected to blend in with the background, and not allow ourselves to shine.
Then, for those of us who had critical parents or who are survivors of abuse, we may reject compliments and positive messages because:
- we are not used to them;
- we don’t feel that we can trust them, because in the past, compliments came just before negative or critical comments;
- compliments were used against us, held a hidden expectation, or meant that something was expected of us;
- we are so used to being put down that that is what we are comfortable with;
- it feels frightening because, on a deep level, we don’t believe that the compliments are true, or that the success is real, or we are afraid that we will still fail and that we then won’t deserve the compliment;
- our learned reaction is to put ourselves down first, before someone else can hurt us;
- compliments may have been used to lull us into a false sense of security before abuse;
- it may almost hurt to hear something good about ourselves, when we heard so much of the opposite growing up, and didn’t get what we needed;
- we didn’t get what we needed growing up, and as a result we greatly need to hear the good things now, but we are afraid to allow ourselves to get what we need, we think we don’t deserve it, or we are denying ourselves what we need.
We may also reject compliments and positive messages, or keep ourselves from feeling good about our successes because:
- we are afraid to trust the compliment, afraid that it will be taken away, that it is a trick, that we will be laughed at if we accept it, or that it will somehow be used against us;
- we are trying to hurt ourselves by not allowing ourselves what we need, or are reenacting the emotional deprivation we experienced as children;
- we are afraid that the person complimenting us just can’t see all the negatives that supposedly exist inside us;
if we allow ourselves to feel the good feeling and really take it in, we might have to change how we think about ourselves, and this is frightening, or we might have to feel the pain and loss of not having had this all our lives.
Those of us who are survivors of abuse may also think that in rejecting or deflecting compliments and positive messages about ourselves, we are protecting ourselves, somehow keeping ourselves from being further hurt—but this is based on our abuse experience. We are hurting ourselves, by not letting that good feeling in—and it’s good to realize that we don’t need to react or cope that way any more. While we can still be hurt, or triggered into hurt, it is not the same as the abuse we experienced as children.
We may even go further than not allowing ourselves to accept or feel good about a compliment, positive message, or a success—we may, in reaction, quickly put ourselves down, laugh at ourselves, apologize, or try to convince the person that we aren’t really that good. We may tell ourselves that we are doing this so as not to brag, come off as superior, or to make the other person feel better, but really we are usually doing this for one or many of the reasons listed above. And in deflecting compliments, and going even further to put ourselves down, we are hurting ourselves—a state that we may know well from abuse.
Often, those of us who deflect or reject positive messages about ourselves are survivors of some sort of abuse or trauma, and have low self-esteem, great self-criticism or self-hate—which causes us to need, on a deep level, the real compliments or celebration of success that we so quickly and adamantly reject. And in denying ourselves the good feeling that can result, or in allowing the feeling to only fleetingly pass through us before we criticise ourselves, we may actually increase our need and desperation for those compliments from others—and increase our reaction to them, as well. This can make us more vulnerable and insecure, and reinforce negative messages that we were told as children.
We deserve to be able to take in positive messages about ourselves, to celebrate our successes, and to feel the good feeling and the joy right to our core. We deserve to be happy. So how do we learn to take the good messages in? Here are a few suggestions:
Give yourself positive messages and real compliments as often as you can. Affirmations can help with this. Praise yourself for what you do right. Do this as often as you can, even if you feel that they’re not true, that you don’t deserve them, etc. With enough repetition, the positive messages will eventually sink in there.
Make a list of the things you like about yourself, as many things as you can think of, and refer to this list often. Write down anything and everything that comes to you, even if it seems silly. If this feels hard to do, write down the things that other people have told you they liked about you—or write out the things you admire in other people, and then see if those qualities exist in yourself. Often they do. Try to find the compassion and love inside you to give yourself these healing messages.
Imagine the vulnerable, hurt child inside you, and allow yourself to feel compassion and love for her. Tell her the things you know she needs to hear—that the abuse wasn’t her fault, that you love her and will protect her. Relieve her of any guilt or blame that she may be carrying, and reassure her that you love her. Praise her as you would a child in front of you. Think back to the way you were as a child, and tell that child all the things she did right, all the things you admire about her, all the reasons you care about her—that she had the strength to keep going, that she was kind or protective of her younger siblings, that she was able to play and notice beauty in the world, that she was able to still dream and hope, etc. Really appreciate her, and try to wrap her in love. Tenderly talking to the child inside you, and appreciating her, can help you to take things in on a deeper level.
Ask someone you care about and trust—a friend, lover, or therapist—to tell you many things that they like about you, and value in you. Write them down. Then refer to these things often, remembering that someone you trust and care about sees these things in you. That may give those positives more weight.
Using positive messages from other people for a while to build up your own resources is a good way to take in compliments—but eventually you have to be able to see some positives in yourself in order to fully take in compliments from others, and fully experience the good feeling. Try to allow yourself to see one thing you really appreciate and like in yourself. Notice that quality or way of being, notice how it makes you feel. Focus on that, and keep coming back to it, as often as you can.
Find multiple ways to give yourself positive messages about yourself—through books with positive, healing messages; notes you write and put in different places; affirmation cards; music or audio CDs with healing messages; friends, lovers, and therapists; and more. Use as many of the ways of giving yourself positive messages as you can, as often as you can.
Write out the positive things other people have said about you in the past, and read these things over often. Create a notebook, computer file, or a box that just holds compliments, your successes, or things people have said about you that make you feel good. Return to that notebook, box, or computer file often.
Notice how you feel when someone gives you a compliment; notice the instant desire to deflect or curl inward. Become aware of it, notice how often you actually do this—without judging yourself, just being aware that this may be a result of abuse, neglect, or low self-confidence.
Try to take this even further, by being aware of what your particular trigger is—that you are afraid it’s not really true, that you don’t deserve it, etc. It may also help to take the trigger back to the first time you can remember feeling that way, or reacting that way. Sometimes it can help to clearly see what you are reacting to, or that the reaction definitely comes from abuse, ill treatment, etc—that it makes sense that you would have reacted that way as a child, but that you don’t need to now.
Write out, and tell yourself, counter messages to that trigger or fear. Tell yourself that there are many good things about you and inside you; that you deserve to feel good and to receive a compliment, etc. Remind yourself that you don’t need to react that way any more.
Practice accepting compliments, even if you think they’re still not true. Practice hearing the positive words a person says to you, just letting those words be there, and looking the person in the eye and saying a simple “thank you.” With enough practice, this will begin to feel less frightening or unsettling, and will start to feel more natural, even good.
It can feel painful or frightening to begin taking in positive messages and celebrating your successes, if you’re not used to doing that. But it can also bring so much good feeling, increase your self-esteem and self-confidence, help your healing, and nurture and support you. You deserve to feel good, and to recognize and celebrate all the good inside you. So try opening yourself up, just a little bit, to real compliments, appreciation, and praise—and let that good feeling in.
Do you like this post? Subscribe to RSSUnderstanding Family Relationship Problems
March 30, 2009 by Katerina
by Steve Pavlina
One of the most difficult matters to confront with respect to family relationships is that you don’t control the entire relationship yourself. Whether the relationship thrives or withers isn’t up to you alone. As the saying goes, it takes two to tango.
When major family relationship problems are encountered, it’s common to attempt a control strategy. You try to get the other person to change. Sometimes this approach works, especially if your request and the other person are both reasonable. But many times it just leads to frustration.
On the other hand, if you can’t change the other person, maybe you should just accept them as they are. That’s another strategy that sometimes works, but this one can also lead to frustration and even resentment if your needs aren’t being met.
There is, however, a third alternative for those times when changing the other person and accepting the other person as-is are both unworkable for you. And that option is to change yourself in a way that solves the problem. This requires that you redefine the problem as an internal one instead of an external one, and then the solution will take the form of an expansion of your awareness and/or a change in your beliefs.
An internal way of viewing relationship problems is that they reflect back to you a part of yourself that you dislike. If you have a negative external relationship situation, it’s a reflection of a conflict in your own thinking. As long as you keep looking outside yourself for the answer, you may never resolve the external problem. But once you start looking inside yourself for the problem, it may become easier to solve.
What you’ll find when you tackle such problems is that you harbor one or more beliefs that perpetuate the relationship problem in its current form. Those beliefs are the real problem — the true cause of the unhealthy relationship.
For example, consider a problematic relationship between yourself and another family member. Suppose you hold the belief that you must be close to every family member simply because they’re related to you. Perhaps you’d never tolerate this person’s behavior if it came from a stranger, but if the person is a relative, then you tolerate it out of a sense of duty, obligation, or your personal concept of family. To push a family member out of your life might cause you to feel guilty, or it could lead to a backlash from other family members. But genuinely ask yourself, “Would I tolerate this behavior from a total stranger? Why do I tolerate it from a family member then?” Exactly why have you chosen to continue the relationship instead of simply kicking the person out of your life? What are the beliefs that perpetuate the problematic relationship? And are those beliefs really true for you?
I love my parents and siblings unconditionally (I have two younger sisters and one younger brother). However, I haven’t had a particularly close-knit relationship with any of them for many years. There was no major falling out or anything like that — it’s just that my personal values and lifestyle have moved so far from theirs that there isn’t enough basic compatibility to form a strong common bond anymore. My parents and siblings are all of the employee mindset with a very low tolerance for risk, but as an entrepreneur, risk is my favorite breakfast. My wife and kids and I are all vegan, while my parents and siblings celebrate the holidays with the traditional consumption of animals. I don’t recall anyone in my family ever saying, “I love you,” while I grew up, but with my own kids I’m very affectionate and strive to tell them I love them every day. My parents and siblings are all practicing Catholics, but I left that behind 17 years ago in order to explore other belief systems. (Technically within their belief system, I’m doomed to hell, so that sorta puts a damper on things.) Even though this is the family I grew up with and shared many memories, our core values are so different now that it just doesn’t feel like a meaningful family relationship anymore.
Despite all these differences, we’re all on good terms with each other and get along fairly well, but our differences create such a big gap that we have to settle for being relatives without being close friends.
If you operate under the belief that family is forever and that you must remain loyal to all your relatives and spend lots of time with them, I want you to know that those beliefs are your choice, and you’re free to embrace them or release them. If you’re fortunate enough to have a close family that is genuinely supportive of the person you’re becoming, that’s wonderful, and in that situation, you’ll likely find the closeness of your family to be a tremendous source of strength. Then your loyalty to family closeness will likely be very empowering.
On the other hand, if you find yourself with family relationships that are incompatible with your becoming your highest and best self, then excessive loyalty to your family is likely to be extremely disempowering. You’ll only be holding yourself back from growing, from achieving your own happiness and fulfillment, and from potentially doing a lot of good for others. If I retained a very close relationship with my birth family, it would be like putting a lampshade over my spirit. I wouldn’t be the person I am today.
My way of dealing with my family situation was to broaden my definition of family. On one level I feel an unconditional connection with all human beings, but on another level, I see people with whom I share a deep compatibility as my true family. For example, my wife and I both have a strong commitment to doing good for the planet as best we can, which is one reason we each find each other attractive. And that’s partly why she’s my best friend as well as my wife. When I see people who are living very, very consciously and deliberately and who’ve dedicated their lives to the pursuit of a worthy purpose, I have a strong sense that on some level, those people are members of my family. And this connection feels more real to me than the blood relationships I was born into.
Loyalty is a worthy value, but what does it mean to be loyal to one’s family? Since loyalty is very important to me, I had to refine my view of this concept to place loyalty to my highest and best self above loyalty to the people I was born with. That was a difficult mental shift to make, but in the long run it has given me a sense of peace. I realize now that family is a concept which is capable of extending far beyond blood.
What I’m suggesting is that in order to solve family relationship problems, which exist at one level of awareness, you may need to pop your consciousness up a level and take a deeper look at your values, beliefs, and your definitions of terms like loyalty and family. Once you resolve those issues at the higher level, the low level relationship problems will tend to take care of themselves. Either you’ll transcend the problems and find a new way to continue your relationship without conflict, or you’ll accept that you’ve outgrown the relationship in its current form and give yourself permission to move on to a new definition of family.
You see… when you say goodbye to a problematic relationship issue, you’re really saying goodbye to an old part of yourself that you’ve outgrown. As I became less compatible with my birth family, I also gradually dropped parts of myself that no longer served me. I drifted away from rigid religious dogma, from fear of risk-taking, from eating animals, from negativity, and from being unable to say, “I love you.” As I let all of those things pass from my consciousness, my external-world relationships changed to reflect my new internal relationships.
As within, so without. If you hold onto conflict-ridden relationships in your life, the real cause is your inner attachment to conflict-ridden thoughts. When you alter the mental relationships within your own mind, your physical world will change to reflect it. So if you kick negative thoughts out of your head, you will find yourself simultaneously kicking negative people out of your life.
There is a wonderful rainbow at the end of this process of letting go, however. And that is that when you resolve conflicts in your consciousness that cause certain relationships to weaken, you simultaneously attract new relationships that resonate with your expanded level of consciousness.
We attract into our lives more of what we already are. If you don’t like the social situation you find yourself in, stop broadcasting the thoughts that attract it. Identify the nature of the external conflicts you experience, and then translate them into their internal equivalents. For example, if a family member is too controlling of you, translate that problem into your own internal version: You feel your life is too much out of your control. When you identify the problem as external, your attempted solutions may take the form of trying to control other people, and you’ll meet with strong resistance. But when you identify the problem as internal, it’s much easier to solve. If another person exhibits controlling behavior towards you, you may be unable to change that person. However, if you feel you need more control in your life, then you can actually do something about it directly without needing to control others.
I’ll actually go so far as to say that the purpose of human relationships may be the expansion of consciousness itself. Through the process of identifying and resolving relationship problems, we’re forced to deal with our internal incongruencies. And as we become more conscious on the inside, our relationships expand towards greater consciousness on the outside.
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/
Do you like this post? Subscribe to RSSLearn to Love Yourself!
March 11, 2009 by Katerina
To be happy and enjoy life every day – what does it mean for you? Probably perfect love relationship, new chick expensive bag or ideal breasts? Perhaps you believe all these can make you happier. However, your happiness depends on your inner state and self-estimation much more than on any outside circumstances. To be completely happy with the person that you are – that is the key to the confidence and balance. Self-love will also save you from permanent expectations ofevidence of your value from others. Learning to love yourself is not easy, it takes time and strong intention to feel better and get more from life.
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- Get rid of all hateful comments that you make about yourself and your life circumstances. No exceptions! Self-hate and complaints bring you depression and addiction to sadness nothing else.
Put down a list of the things you like about yourself. Don’t be modest, neither do critical notes. Think over what you do like in you friends or acquaintances – most often you have the same merits. Keep the record with you all the time to look at it if it comes to critical mood or you’re feeling down. Although you might think it sound silly, it really works and helps.
Whether you think you can or think you can’t – you are right.
Henry Ford
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- Form a habit to praise something in yourself or think about something you like about yourself. Praising ourselves is considered to be selfish. However, it can help. If you love yourself and feel proud of your achievements you became happier and more open, attracting new people to your life.
To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
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- Do not compare yourself to other people. You are unique and will be happy living your own life as well as achieving your own goals.
As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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- Pay attention on how you look when speaking to others. Slumped shoulders and lethargic movements show a lack of self confidence. Cultivate habit to have a good posture – stand up straight, keep your head up, and don’t be afraid to make eye contact with your partner.
To love yourself right now, just as you are,
is to give yourself heaven. Don’t wait until you die.
If you wait, you die now. If you love, you live now.
Alan Cohen
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- Get closer to the nature. Go for a walk; admire the unset, lay on the grass, listen to the birds’ singing. Nature will help you to feel confidence and will teach you to value really important things.
Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.
Buddah
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- Take care of your self every day. Do not forget about proper sleep, healthy diet physical exercise. Allow yourself to do comforting and nurturing things. Tell yourself that you deserve to feel good. You really do. Listen to the music that you most enjoy, have a hot bath with foam, get a massage, use essential oils or natural creams that make you feel good.. Indulge yourself
Always act like you’re wearing an invisible crown.
Author Unknown
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Practicing all this, one day you’ll find that, the more you love yourself, the more you’ll be able to share this feeling- and the more your close people will share it with you.
Do you like this post? Subscribe to RSSHow to Maintain Trust Relationship to Your Child
February 2, 2009 by Katerina
Being very important and sensitive, the relationship between parents and children can bring us a lot of joy or difficulties. It is completely true that both parents and children love each other. However sometimes establishing the relationship becomes a real challenge. The reasons can be different: lack of proper knowledge, parents’ overt hovering, age gap, conflicts of interest and so on.
Sometimes the conditions become so severe that both of them do not even prefer to spent time with each other. The reason is not that they do not love each other but to show that they are disappointed with the behavior of each other. It is not anticipated that the things will totally change. But still both parents and children can enhance their relationship to a great extent.
Here you can find some tips that can really assist both children and parents to cope up with the adverse situations. Be sure, with permanent effort from both the sides this vital relationship can be improved soon.
No pressure and orders
First of all, it is important that parents should not pressurize their children. Try to remain cheerful in front of your children. This is applicable to parents as well. Do not mess up with each other in the presence of children. Domestic violence is definitely not good for the children mental health.
Parents should not try to give orders to their children. You can convince them that discipline they are pursuing today will certainly be fruitful for their future. Children should accompany their parents if they are going for a walk and try to have a heart to heart talk about their problems, issues and expectations. Don’t be a boss, you’ll get much more pleasure and peace being a friend to your child.
Explain the rules
There are rules at school, in the workplace, at home and in society. There are written rules and unwritten rules. They all have a purpose – to allow everyone to live together in harmony and to protect everyone’s rights. Surely, being adult you understand that. However, your children are not so experienced. Sometimes (or very often) they don’t understand the limitations your set. Be patient. When setting the rule, spend 10 minutes to show your children its general aim, make an example, discuss possible problems, caused by non-fulfillment of the rule.
Let your child help you
Sometimes you miss excellent opportunities to make relationship closer by not allowing your child to help you with various activities and tasks. Choosing which bag looks better with your shoes or suit lets a child know you value his opinion. Making simple home tasks jointly with your child is a good ground for communication. Certainly, if you ask your child to help you, be prepared to accept and live with the result!
Eat as a family
It is not a trifle! Eating together makes you closer and sets the stage for sharing and discussion. Just don’t let TV interrupt your communication. Talk and enjoy each other. It can become a time most appreciated and remembered by parents and child.
Express your feelings
Don’t be shy to tell your child you love him — no matter his age. On hard days or after a quarrel, when you don’t exactly “like your child” at that moment, it is so important express your love. Let your child be aware of your real feelings in tough situations still stressing on your intention to have peace in your family.
Unfortunately, you can’t completely avoid disagreements with your child. Even in this situation try to imagine yourself in his position and stick to the following rules:
- Respect your child when discussing any areas of disagreement.
- Be sure you both understand what the problem is.
- Don’t blame and don’t accuse.
- Stay calm whatever your child says to you.
- Don’t digress into other areas and issues.
- Use a team approach – work at the problem together, think about what you want in common and work out how you can get there.
- Think of the possible solutions together – be open and creative.
- Think out the consequences of each possible solution.
- Choose one idea together and do it.
For sure, parenting is a quiet tough job, however maintaining trust relationships helps you stay connected with your child through all stages of his upbringing.
Do you like this post? Subscribe to RSSWhy Can’t I Impress Him-Her With My Talks
January 16, 2009 by Katerina
Many people cannot make themselves comfortable while talking to opposite gender. They become conscious at the time of conversation and thus unable to impress them. It is a universal truth that men and women have major differences in their common interests. However, exceptions are always there.
If someone has sense to avoid such topics that can bore their partner or may be a bit passionate, then he/she can easily place her positive impression in front of other within general talk. Some tips are described below that can help you while conversation with opposite gender.
Powerful listening:
You can be impressive conversationalist; if you have a key of Powerful listening. It is a fact that a good listener is always a good speaker. Thus, if you attentively hear talks of your partner then you can notice his/her interests, likes and dislikes effortlessly. However, they would be not of your personal interest. But it would be possible that you can find some conversational threads which may possibly bind you with your partner. So, pull them to develop good conversation with your partner on that. In addition, you can also admit your point of view for the ignorance on that particular topic and ask him/her to clarify it to you. With such measure you can have a good communication with your partner.
Try to be face reader:
While talking with your partner try to note his/her facial expression. If you find that your partner is constantly diverting his/her attention, feeling bored and awkward, then change the topic tactfully. Then try to direct your conversation towards his/her matter of interest.
Topics to be avoided:
Do not stay with such topics that are completely alien to your companion. Generally, men have tendency to chat about gadgets, software developments, stock market, electronic and automobile innovations as well as on action films. These topics normally make fair sex bored and thus they want to quit from such talk. In addition, women are likely to talk on family problems, beauty aids, dreams, latest attires, melodramatic and aspirations movies that generally flew away from the heads of their male partners. So, try to chat on common topics like spirituality, literary discussions, social affairs etc.
Take time as well as give time:
This is the crucial aspect to consider while conversation. It is obvious that no one wishes to be mute spectator or chatterbox. So, give enough time and space to your partner, so that he/she can also express his/her point of view more clearly.
So, be prepared with above tips in order to develop a real conversationalist in yourself.
Do you like this post? Subscribe to RSS“Working from home” or “going to work”?
August 4, 2008 by Olgita
In a Ukrainian city, soon after the USSR became history, I happened to visit a post-office that was stuffed into a 2-bedroom apartment. That is, the “bedrooms” were actually turned into office premises, crowded 9-to-6 by the locals. The tiny living room, kitchen and bathrooms were secured by locks and reserved for the family use of the postmaster, her husband and daughter.
I remember two thoughts I had, looking at the dirty tiled floor in the hallway: “How does that lady feel, literally living at work?” and “I’d not like to know that at first-hand!”
Nowadays I see more and more women working from home even here, in Eastern Europe, to say nothing of the more computerized West. Their customers, co-workers and bosses do not come crowding into homes – a reliable internet connection is enough for a successful translator/designer/programmer/journalist etc. to become part of the process. No rush hour traffic, no dress code, more flexibility in the schedule…
On the other hand, some researches show that socializing at work is a vital part of the fulfillment. Moreover, they say that for us not to get fed up with work and home, ideally there should be at least a small distance between the two.
So, if you have the choice to work from home or in an office, you are the one to make it– and you are welcome to share your perspective here, in the comments. Chances are, your opinion will help a busy professional to add more balance to her life…
Loremaster
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